Happy First Birthday my adorable Baby

so as I sit here and try to find the right way to start today's entry I can't help but cry, she is here, peacefully sleeping next to me and I can't believe that she is one year old ...I officially have a toddle but she will always be my baby.

a year ago today, on sept 28/2013 I pushed a 7.12 pounds and 18 inches long baby, not a single cry to the point I was freaking out and asking my midwife if everything was ok ...she was on my chest, her big eyes wide open looking straight to my face, looking into my eyes, i looked at my husband, his eyes full of tears and shock and that's when it hit me: my life was complete, I was the happiest woman on earth. 

it's been a year full emotions, a year full of love but full of struggles as well but I wouldn't change a single thing ...Liana Isabella is such an amazing girl full of energy, even when she was in the womb the nurses and drs kept telling us what an active baby she was just by the ultrasounds but God, little did I know ...sometimes the word active is small compared to what Liana is, she sat unassisted by 4 months and by 6 months she was already crawling and pulling herself up with the help of the table or the crib and to my surprise she took her first steps at the age of 9 months, she is a little dare devil, it's like she is not afraid of getting hurt again and again and again ...I feel like people think that I'm a bad mom just by looking at the bruises on her face but I swear I always try my best, sometimes it's just too hard to keep up ...I don't remember the last time I went to pee without having to be screaming "Liana come here, what are you doing?, I swear I'm about to lose my mind" but even when it's hard it's amazing at the same time, she is healthy enough to be that active and that's what matters.

she is very funny and smart, even when she doesn't talk much she still finds ways to communicate with me, she is a daddy's girl but the bond she has with mommy is just inexplicable and she loves her big sister Valentina very much but sometimes she is such a bully that I get scared that vale is going to start hating her lol ...my little baby, not so little anymore ...I could go on and on about all the things that she does but I feel like I already got lost in my thoughts. this is not the type of blog I was planing to go for but oh well.

there's not a  day that goes by without me praying and asking for the opportunity to watch her as she grows and discovers the world around her and I hope that as she does that she realizes that her momma will always be by her side, always there for her ..Happy first Birthday to my beautiful Baby, I can't wait to see what this year brings for you and us

I couldn't be more excited!!!!! Weight loss update

It's been a month and I'm back with exciting updates but before I start I want to make something clear ...**if you are reading this is mostly because you follow me on Instagram which means you already know the type of pictures I post, you may have noticed that lately there's more and more pictures of me, some of you may think that I'm "gassing" myself up and I'm totally fine with it, I really don't care what people think about me, I'm just proud of myself and my progress but if you are one of those who doesn't like my pictures or feel offended or whatever type of way by them do yourself a favor and unfollow me, I'm saying this because I already had to block a few people who couldn't handle my "yayyy me" pictures ...Im too old for that type of immaturity**.

Ok so back to the exciting part, as some or all of you know I started my weight loss journey back in May and I've been sharing my results in my blog as a way to keep me accountable (trust me Im not just trying to show off when i post a picture).  Not sure if you remember but i started at 154.8 pounds, i mainly changed my eating habits, I tried exercising but I have to admit that's not for me but you can read more about that in my previous posts.

Today's entry is mostly to show my progress pictures, my weight goal is 130 pounds and I can't believe how close I am, here's a comparison from the day I started, last post which was a month ago and today:

And here is another comparison just between last month and today, I'm really happy to see the changes in my body:

And just as a little extra I want to share this picture just because my clothes are fitting better now, I'm even wearing things that I wasn't able to wear 6 months ago and well, that feel fantastic:

Back in March I had to leave the part on the sides unbuttoned because it just didn't fit and I can even see a difference in my arms and face :) 

I finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight today and I'm just 5 pounds away from reaching my goal ...until next time xoxo

Weight loss update

On May 25th of this year I realized that I didn't like what I was seeing in the mirror and those numbers on the scale were just depressing, my life as a stay at home mom and wife is very busy, there's people that think otherwise and feel that just because I'm at home I have it easy and all I do is watch tv  but that's another story (maybe I need to blog about it) ..in reality I don't have time to workout every day  so my only option to start losing weight was to watch what I was eating and see if that  was going to help ...it's been almost 3 months and I've lost 12.6 pounds in total just by eating better, I'm not going to lie, I'm not the salad and smoothie type of person, I need my rice and my beans lol  but I stopped drinking sodas and juices, I only drink water, my portions are smaller now compared to how I used to eat and I try to control myself when it comes to candy but oh how much I love me some chocolate but in general I'm eating less. (As some of you know I tried the matefit teatox and I saw some results but I didn't feel like it was worth it so I didn't repurchase)

The progress might not be as fast as I'd like but I tell myself every day that small progress is better than no progress, my clothes are starting to fit much better, 2 days ago I was able to wear my size 4 jeans again without the huge muffin top making its appearance and even my neighbor said that I was looking skinnier so not only am I starting to feel better about the way I look but others are noticing it too and that's an amazing feeling .

I still have 12 more pounds to go and lots of toning to do, I hope that as Liana gets bigger and more independent I'll be able to start working out but for now I'm happy with my progress. As today I'm at 142.2  pounds and for my height that's not too bad (I'm 5'5) but my goal is to be at 130 . Here is the progress pictures so far and I'll be back with more updates along the way :) 

I love my children equally

Since I became pregnant with my second child I've received a few nasty comments about me treating my children in different ways, for example people have blamed me for not having enough baby picture of Valentina and instead having tons of Liana or being too excited with the last pregnancy and too worried with the first one..I never paid much attention to it but now I'm mad, mad to the point where I have the need to make things clear, to really say how I'm feeling.

Liana's bday is coming up in 2 months so last week I started party planning, today I was talking with a family member about it and I again received a comment about how differently I'm dealing with things when it comes to the girls, she was referring to the fact that my older didn't have a birthday party until she was 4, I once again let it go and just told this person that had things to do and hanged up but now I'm here, sitting in the living room and it's finally getting to me: why are some people so ignorant and judgmental?.

Yes, Things are different when it comes to the way I am with Liana now and the way I was with Valentina as a baby but why don't you ask yourself why first instead of just criticizing me? People need to understand than life changes and need to realize that the situation I was in when I had Valentina is so much different than the situation I am right now, for those who doesn't know or for those who keeps forgetting let me remind you: I was a teen mom, I got pregnant at 16, I was scared, confused, I was still in high school, I lived with my mom, I depended on her and to make things worse the father of my child went running and disappeared as soon as I told him I was pregnant (yeah I said in a public blog because that's how it is but that's another story) ...I loved my Valentina since the first moment I heard her heartbeat, her kicks used to scare the crap out of me but she became the love of my life but when she was born I had other things more important to worry about than taking tons of pictures a day or planning a bday party, I couldn't be as excited as I was with Liana's pregnancy because I had to deal with the fact that I was about to become a  mom at 17 but still had to get at least a high school diploma, I was running all day long from going to school to coming back and picking her up from the baby sitter and then trying to do homework while giving her a bottle at the same time ...so for those who think I love Liana more than Valentina let me tell you: YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG, I love both of my children like nothing in this world, I can't even put into words my feelings for them, they are my life, they make me a better person but you need to understand than now I'm in a very very different situation; I now have a husband, a stable life, Liana was planned, I don't have to deal with going to school, I am a stay at home home and my biggest worries right now are "what should I cook?" Or "omg, Luis is almost home and I haven't make the bed because I've been playing with the girls all day long" ...so yeah I now have time to take pictures (tons of them), now I have time and the money to plan a birthday party, but it doesn't mean that I love one more than the other ...in fact the connection I have with Valentina is way bigger than anything, with Liana I have her father's help, Liana knows she has a mom and a dad while Valentina only had me and just me for a long time in her life, I am her world and she loves me very much and that's all I need.

I think is time for me to start cutting people off of our lives, I don't even want to imagine what would happen if my Valentina hears these people saying something like that ...I don't want her to feel bad and suffer because of others' ignorance ...and once again don't ever doubt the love I have for my children, I don't play the "favorite" game in this house, they get treated the same way and with the same love, obviously Liana needs more attention because she is a baby but even Valentina understands that so why can grown ups do the same? 

Vent over ...just needed to make things clear so until next time ;)

MateFit UPDATE

So it's been a week since I started the MateFit mini teatox and as promised i'm here to update you, I'm going to be very honest and before I start I want to remind everybody that we all are different, our metabolisms are different so the effects and results for every single thing  that we try can vary from  person to person ...they make it clear that if you want amazing results you have to eat right and exercise and if you think about it most people would get amazing results by doing the same exact thing without the tea  BUT  I didn't exercise at all this past week and to be honest didn't eat that great, I mean, I ate 3 huge burrito bowls that were GREAT but that's not the great we are looking for  lol  plus I had Taco Bell breakfast 2 days in a row and still got results so that's a good thing.

When it comes to secondary effects and all that I have to say that I didn't experience many except for a few times that got nauseous  after drinking the metabolic boost tea but it went away pretty fast, before I ordered it I read about people getting cramps after the detox tea and going to much to the bathroom but thanks God I didn't experience any of that so that's a thumb up.

So here it is, the moment you'll are waiting for: THE RESULTS

Yup, 2.2 pounds in 7 days YAYYYY, I was so happy today when I saw the  scale ..when it comes to the belly I honestly don't see much of a difference, I read many reviews about it helping with the bloating but I didn't see any of that, maybe it's because what I got is not bloating at all and I just need to do more sit-ups  ;)

That's it for today, I have one more week to go so wait for the final update  and if you have any question feel free to comment or DM me on Instagram ...until next time 

MateFit Experience

Have you heard about those miracles teas that are helping people to lose weight and be energized in a complete natural way? Well I did and although I found a few brands out there one of them caught my eye, maybe because I've seen so many pictures on Instagram, I did a little research and said yeah why not, the company is called MateFit and even though they sell a few other products their most popular one are the teatox packs (14 or 28 days) ...mine arrived yesterday and I'm going to give you my honest opinion and updates of my experience with it.

This is what it looks like (I ordered the mini teatox which is the 14 days one) 

It comes with the detox tea  and the metabolic boost one, you are supposed to take the detox tea every other nigh and the metabolic tea twice a day.

I started my detox tea last night (7/9/2014) and today I already had the first metabolic tea, to be honest the metabolic one doesn't taste bad, I'm not a tea lover at all so for me they all taste bad but this one was decent but the one from last nigh omg I almost threw up, at least in my opinion it taste horrible, no wonder why they tell you to put lemon and honey for taste if you want, thanks god I don't have to drink it daily :) ...as for effect I haven't experience anything weird yet but I'll be updating you in a few days for sure.

And just to make this a real life experience here's a picture of where I am today including weight and belly photos just so we all can compare and see if it really works

I'm kinda dissapointed with myself ...last week I was at 147.8 pounds and today when I jumped on the scale I was like WTF? But then I remembered all the chocolate covered strawberries and that huge bacon cheeseburger and fries from five guys that i ate during the weekend and was like oh yeah never mind lol ...i'm still struggling with food, it is really hard for me to say no sometimes. when it comes to the tea routine I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to exercise every day but I'm going to try my best, i'll be drinking my 8 glasses of water for sure and hopefully my eating won't be so bad ;)

i'll be back in a week with an update of side effects (if any) and hopefully good results 

Their website is http://matefit.me in case you want to take a look at it ;)

What's hidden behind her cute little smile

I always find it so funny when we are at the grocery store or at the park and people mention how cute and quiet my almost 9 months old is ...I obviously agree on the cute part but about she being quiet? Lol if only they knew.

I remember all the times we got an ultrasound or that I had to get hooked to the monitors while pregnant, all the nurses and doctors always said the same thing: oh god what an active baby, you are going to have your hands full with this one. Little did I know how true that was going to be.

In fact Liana is a very, very, very active baby and the fact that she is doing things pretty fast doesn't help, at 4 months she was already sitting up without support and by 6 months she was crawling like a pro, since she became mobile I feel like I can't catch a break, she is always on the run, oh and let me tell you, she will be 9 months on June 28th and she is already trying to walk.
She is one of those babies that need her mom or dad to be around her all the time or she cries like somebody is killing her, the ergo (baby carrier) is one of my best friends, most of the time I have to put her on my back in order for me to get things done and to make things more "fun" she is now skipping naps and acting up, if I'm holding her she wants to be on the floor, if  she is on the floor she is crawling around my feet like a little dog and begging me to hold her, if we are playing she starts acting like she is sleepy but when I put her down for a nap all she wants to do is play and then after a long day she finally goes to sleep around 7-8pm and she is now "sleeping" through the night but I have to make some things clear: she hates her crib and to be honest I always say I'm going to start sleep training her but then I'm so exhausted that I just let her sleep on our bed and remember I said she is a very active baby? Well even when she is sleeping she is still moving and squirming all night long, we have a queen size bed and i sleep between my husband and her because I know how hard he works and I don't want her to wake him up, he needs his good sleep in order to work hard and provide for us...so every single night I find myself stuck like a piece of turkey breast in a sandwich, she wiggles, she moves, she sits, she lays down, she speaks, she cries, she laughs, she kicks, she throws punches and all of this while sleeping so as you can tell it has been so long since the last time I had a real good sleep.

And here is when I want to be honest just so other moms out there that are going through the same thing don't feel guilty: IT IS OK TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND. Sometimes I feel like I can't do it anymore, I've cried a few times and asked her "what do you want Liana? Why are you doing this to me?" ...I lost count of how many texts my husband has received from me asking if he can come home a little earlier, there have been times when I exchange chores with him (he is the one who do the dishes and cleans the kitchen after dinner) just so I get a few minutes away from Liana, yeah that's right, sometimes I prefer to do the dishes than to deal with her crankiness, oh and let's not forget, I'm one of those moms who puts the baby in a safe place and runs to the bathroom for 3 minutes just so I can breathe and remind myself that I can do this even when it seems like I can't and the saddest fact is that I've asked myself what the fuck I was thinking when I said I wanted another kid maybe twice.

But the truth is that I love my kids no matter what, the love I have for Liana and Valentina is so incredibly big that I can't put it into words and just because I struggle with them doesn't mean I'm a bad mom, in fact I'm a great mom because even when I struggle and even when I feel like I'm losing mind I find the strength and I manage to keep every thing under control, maybe my house is not as clean as it should and maybe the clothes in the dryer are getting wrinkly because they've been in there for like 4 days and maybe I'm in a bad mood sometimes, maybe I keep wishing to be able to take a long shower instead of a 2 minute one and maybe I'm always trying to find the time to get out of my sweat pants and looks good for my husband ...but my kids are in perfect conditions, they are well fed and clean (or at least looking decent) and that's what matters.

So for the moms out there going through similar situations please don't beat yourself up, you are doing great and the struggle is a big part of this beautiful thing called motherhood ...and don't forget that there is no perfect way to be a good mother because each situation is unique, each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities and certainly different children ...what really matters is that a mother loves her children deeply.

Until next time <3