What have i been up to

is my life becoming boring? I seriously don't have anything exciting to tell you about lol...

A few weeks ago I started a new workout program and I did so good the first 2 weeks but then we all got sick and I obviously didn't workout for 4-5 days and that messed up everything :( I seriously need to work on my consistency issues but Ive managed to stay on track with my weight ...I go from 135 to 138 depending on how much I ate the previous day lol but I need to start getting back on track, the holidays are coming and that means food and more food.

Speaking of holidays, omg this year is almost over, i cant believe how fast time is flying by but somehow im kinda excited for xmas, since my dad passed and we moved from colombia to the States xmas always makes me sad and nostalgic but I'm feeling different this year, I even want to start decorating our home and today I started our xmas shopping, my 2 girls are going to be so excited about their gifts.

What else? Mmmm i started meal planning and Saturday was my first day of grocery shopping with a list in hand ...I used to go through every aisle and get whatever I thought I needed to then come home and realize that I forgot almost everything that I said I needed so this time I went by the list and nothing else and omg what a huge different, hubby's wallet was happy :)

When it comes to free time Im still obsessed with nail polishes, I even got all crafty and made a rack and now all my polishes are looking all cute on the wall 

It turned out good and even some of my friends on IG got inspired and made one for them, thanks to the rack now I don't have to worry about Liana trying to eat nail polish lol. And talking about IG I created a new account just for my obsessions, lately it's all about painted nails but knowing me it will change in the future for who knows what lol ... It's @D.Obsessions for those who want to take a look and follow :)

I think that's all for today ...until next time XOXO

My new hobby

I've been a nail biter my whole life, many times I tried to grow them but it always seemed impossible and then I discovered the acrylic nail world, I can't lie, I like them a lot but it can get kinda expensive when you try keeping up with the maintenance plus every time I took the acrylic off my natual nail would be so weak and thin ...I don't know how it happened but a few weeks ago I noticed that my nails weren't as short as they always are, I guess I didn't have time to bite them off for a few days? but my first instinct was to pain them and that's how my new obsession started ...that night I looked for nail polishes and realized I had 3, it's been about 3-4 weeks and I have 33 nail polishes as today and I think the collection is going to keep growing ...I have 3 of the "good/expemsive" ones and the rest are very cheap and to be honest I don't see much of a difference, they chip the same at least for me and My cleaning routine.

I keep looking at pictures and videos for inspiration on Instagram and youtube and I'm not near to be perfect but for a girl that never had long nails and never used to paint them I think I'm doing pretty good ...I always do it at night after the girls and hubby are sleeping, I take my time and I listen to music while I'm on it or watch a movie but for me it's like my getaway time, time for myself, time to relax, hubby says that my obsessions are temporary and that in a few months I'll be like "I don't like painting my nails anymore, I need a new hobby" so let's see what happens, for now all I can say is that I love it and I hope to get better ...here is a few pictures of my nails lately and oh yeah I already had to cut them twice which means they are growing pretty fast :)

My life isn't perfect but I'm thankful for everything I have

it was almost 5am when the cramps woke me up, oh the joys of being a woman ...I was irritated and mad, I had to deal with a headache for almost 4 days and now this? I thought to myself: life sucks, this is not fair but then my husband rolled over, hugged me from behind and rested his face on my back ...I then smiled and reminded myself that life is good and I need to stop complaining.

I couldn't sleep much after that so I kept thinking, lots of random thoughts came, I started thinking about other people's situations and I couldn't help but be thankful for everything I have ...except for the cramps obviously ;).

I don't have a perfect life, not even close to have one but it's a good one or at least that's how I feel ...I mean, I have 2 beautiful and healthy daughters, they sure drive me crazy sometimes or most of the times should I say, Liana needs an on and off button and Valentina is at a difficult age right now, the talking back and rolling eyes have started and I know it only gets worse from here cause I have me as the best (or worst) example but she is a good girl after all and does very good in school ...i get to be at home with them, I don't have to worry about if they are eating, if they are missing me, if they are in good hands because I'm a stay at home mom and that's one of my biggest privileges in life ...it wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for my hard working husband, he is a great man and that's another thing I'm thankful for, he is an amazing father to both of OUR girls, he loves and treats them equally and that makes me feel like I finally did something right in life, we as a couple are great, we have our ups and downs for sure, we fight maybe more than we should but we are mature enough to say sorry when needed and our love for each other is bigger than our flaws so we just let it go, smile, hug and kiss and go on with our life ...sometimes I feel like punching him, sometimes I feel like he is a bad husband but then I remind myself that I'm mad because he is still in bed watching tv or because he had the guts to sleep until 10am while I was up and running around since 7...at least he is not outside cheating on me like many men do, at least he is not disrespecting me or treating me in a bad way, at least he is not calling me names in front of the kids indeed he is the most corny and romantic guy ever plus I know he works a lot during the week, I do too in the house but I get to take naps, I get to sit on my couch and drink some coffee, I get to say "bring food cause I don't feel like cooking" so when I remind myself of all those things I'm like wait a minute, I don't have a bad husband, I have a great one, I'm a lucky girl for having him in my life and all my anger goes away ...I know some people feel like I pretend to have the perfect life and the perfect relationship and I don't, I just choose to show only the good things about me and my life, that doesn't make me an hypocrite but why should I go on Instagram or a blog talking about my husband taking a nap? it doesn't make sense for me ...I used to be like that with my past relationships and I learned that's not cute for sure.

that last part reminded me that I'm thankful for one last thing, my new friends, in the process of getting my life together and getting a family of my own I lost almost all my friends, I felt alone sometimes, I didn't have anybody to talk except my husband but then I met a bunch of ladies through the Internet while I was pregnant and I'm glad to say that I became friends with a few of them but there's one that has a special place in my heart, she lives on the other side of the country but that's not an impediment, we text a lot, we laugh and cry, we've become each other's confidante and instead of talking about my husband or my life on IG I just text her and I already got in trouble for that so it's not a secret to my husband (oops sorry babe lol)..she is a mom, a wife, a crazy girl just like me and she understands me, she gives me advice but tells me to get my shit together when I need to as well, I just feel free to vent to her because she's been in similar positions in life and she doesn't judge me ...I don't feel so alone anymore, I feel like a gained a good friend and I'm thankful for that as well.

long post isn't it? sorry, I got carried away ...I know life is not the same for everybody, I know there's people going through so much right now and because of those people is that I felt inspired to write this and  I hope that the people that are just like me and tend to get frustrated for such small things keep in mind that our struggles are minimal compared to others so be thankful and smile :) 

Happy First Birthday my adorable Baby

so as I sit here and try to find the right way to start today's entry I can't help but cry, she is here, peacefully sleeping next to me and I can't believe that she is one year old ...I officially have a toddle but she will always be my baby.

a year ago today, on sept 28/2013 I pushed a 7.12 pounds and 18 inches long baby, not a single cry to the point I was freaking out and asking my midwife if everything was ok ...she was on my chest, her big eyes wide open looking straight to my face, looking into my eyes, i looked at my husband, his eyes full of tears and shock and that's when it hit me: my life was complete, I was the happiest woman on earth. 

it's been a year full emotions, a year full of love but full of struggles as well but I wouldn't change a single thing ...Liana Isabella is such an amazing girl full of energy, even when she was in the womb the nurses and drs kept telling us what an active baby she was just by the ultrasounds but God, little did I know ...sometimes the word active is small compared to what Liana is, she sat unassisted by 4 months and by 6 months she was already crawling and pulling herself up with the help of the table or the crib and to my surprise she took her first steps at the age of 9 months, she is a little dare devil, it's like she is not afraid of getting hurt again and again and again ...I feel like people think that I'm a bad mom just by looking at the bruises on her face but I swear I always try my best, sometimes it's just too hard to keep up ...I don't remember the last time I went to pee without having to be screaming "Liana come here, what are you doing?, I swear I'm about to lose my mind" but even when it's hard it's amazing at the same time, she is healthy enough to be that active and that's what matters.

she is very funny and smart, even when she doesn't talk much she still finds ways to communicate with me, she is a daddy's girl but the bond she has with mommy is just inexplicable and she loves her big sister Valentina very much but sometimes she is such a bully that I get scared that vale is going to start hating her lol ...my little baby, not so little anymore ...I could go on and on about all the things that she does but I feel like I already got lost in my thoughts. this is not the type of blog I was planing to go for but oh well.

there's not a  day that goes by without me praying and asking for the opportunity to watch her as she grows and discovers the world around her and I hope that as she does that she realizes that her momma will always be by her side, always there for her ..Happy first Birthday to my beautiful Baby, I can't wait to see what this year brings for you and us

I couldn't be more excited!!!!! Weight loss update

It's been a month and I'm back with exciting updates but before I start I want to make something clear ...**if you are reading this is mostly because you follow me on Instagram which means you already know the type of pictures I post, you may have noticed that lately there's more and more pictures of me, some of you may think that I'm "gassing" myself up and I'm totally fine with it, I really don't care what people think about me, I'm just proud of myself and my progress but if you are one of those who doesn't like my pictures or feel offended or whatever type of way by them do yourself a favor and unfollow me, I'm saying this because I already had to block a few people who couldn't handle my "yayyy me" pictures ...Im too old for that type of immaturity**.

Ok so back to the exciting part, as some or all of you know I started my weight loss journey back in May and I've been sharing my results in my blog as a way to keep me accountable (trust me Im not just trying to show off when i post a picture).  Not sure if you remember but i started at 154.8 pounds, i mainly changed my eating habits, I tried exercising but I have to admit that's not for me but you can read more about that in my previous posts.

Today's entry is mostly to show my progress pictures, my weight goal is 130 pounds and I can't believe how close I am, here's a comparison from the day I started, last post which was a month ago and today:

And here is another comparison just between last month and today, I'm really happy to see the changes in my body:

And just as a little extra I want to share this picture just because my clothes are fitting better now, I'm even wearing things that I wasn't able to wear 6 months ago and well, that feel fantastic:

Back in March I had to leave the part on the sides unbuttoned because it just didn't fit and I can even see a difference in my arms and face :) 

I finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight today and I'm just 5 pounds away from reaching my goal ...until next time xoxo

Weight loss update

On May 25th of this year I realized that I didn't like what I was seeing in the mirror and those numbers on the scale were just depressing, my life as a stay at home mom and wife is very busy, there's people that think otherwise and feel that just because I'm at home I have it easy and all I do is watch tv  but that's another story (maybe I need to blog about it) ..in reality I don't have time to workout every day  so my only option to start losing weight was to watch what I was eating and see if that  was going to help ...it's been almost 3 months and I've lost 12.6 pounds in total just by eating better, I'm not going to lie, I'm not the salad and smoothie type of person, I need my rice and my beans lol  but I stopped drinking sodas and juices, I only drink water, my portions are smaller now compared to how I used to eat and I try to control myself when it comes to candy but oh how much I love me some chocolate but in general I'm eating less. (As some of you know I tried the matefit teatox and I saw some results but I didn't feel like it was worth it so I didn't repurchase)

The progress might not be as fast as I'd like but I tell myself every day that small progress is better than no progress, my clothes are starting to fit much better, 2 days ago I was able to wear my size 4 jeans again without the huge muffin top making its appearance and even my neighbor said that I was looking skinnier so not only am I starting to feel better about the way I look but others are noticing it too and that's an amazing feeling .

I still have 12 more pounds to go and lots of toning to do, I hope that as Liana gets bigger and more independent I'll be able to start working out but for now I'm happy with my progress. As today I'm at 142.2  pounds and for my height that's not too bad (I'm 5'5) but my goal is to be at 130 . Here is the progress pictures so far and I'll be back with more updates along the way :) 

I love my children equally

Since I became pregnant with my second child I've received a few nasty comments about me treating my children in different ways, for example people have blamed me for not having enough baby picture of Valentina and instead having tons of Liana or being too excited with the last pregnancy and too worried with the first one..I never paid much attention to it but now I'm mad, mad to the point where I have the need to make things clear, to really say how I'm feeling.

Liana's bday is coming up in 2 months so last week I started party planning, today I was talking with a family member about it and I again received a comment about how differently I'm dealing with things when it comes to the girls, she was referring to the fact that my older didn't have a birthday party until she was 4, I once again let it go and just told this person that had things to do and hanged up but now I'm here, sitting in the living room and it's finally getting to me: why are some people so ignorant and judgmental?.

Yes, Things are different when it comes to the way I am with Liana now and the way I was with Valentina as a baby but why don't you ask yourself why first instead of just criticizing me? People need to understand than life changes and need to realize that the situation I was in when I had Valentina is so much different than the situation I am right now, for those who doesn't know or for those who keeps forgetting let me remind you: I was a teen mom, I got pregnant at 16, I was scared, confused, I was still in high school, I lived with my mom, I depended on her and to make things worse the father of my child went running and disappeared as soon as I told him I was pregnant (yeah I said in a public blog because that's how it is but that's another story) ...I loved my Valentina since the first moment I heard her heartbeat, her kicks used to scare the crap out of me but she became the love of my life but when she was born I had other things more important to worry about than taking tons of pictures a day or planning a bday party, I couldn't be as excited as I was with Liana's pregnancy because I had to deal with the fact that I was about to become a  mom at 17 but still had to get at least a high school diploma, I was running all day long from going to school to coming back and picking her up from the baby sitter and then trying to do homework while giving her a bottle at the same time ...so for those who think I love Liana more than Valentina let me tell you: YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG, I love both of my children like nothing in this world, I can't even put into words my feelings for them, they are my life, they make me a better person but you need to understand than now I'm in a very very different situation; I now have a husband, a stable life, Liana was planned, I don't have to deal with going to school, I am a stay at home home and my biggest worries right now are "what should I cook?" Or "omg, Luis is almost home and I haven't make the bed because I've been playing with the girls all day long" ...so yeah I now have time to take pictures (tons of them), now I have time and the money to plan a birthday party, but it doesn't mean that I love one more than the other ...in fact the connection I have with Valentina is way bigger than anything, with Liana I have her father's help, Liana knows she has a mom and a dad while Valentina only had me and just me for a long time in her life, I am her world and she loves me very much and that's all I need.

I think is time for me to start cutting people off of our lives, I don't even want to imagine what would happen if my Valentina hears these people saying something like that ...I don't want her to feel bad and suffer because of others' ignorance ...and once again don't ever doubt the love I have for my children, I don't play the "favorite" game in this house, they get treated the same way and with the same love, obviously Liana needs more attention because she is a baby but even Valentina understands that so why can grown ups do the same? 

Vent over ...just needed to make things clear so until next time ;)

MateFit UPDATE

So it's been a week since I started the MateFit mini teatox and as promised i'm here to update you, I'm going to be very honest and before I start I want to remind everybody that we all are different, our metabolisms are different so the effects and results for every single thing  that we try can vary from  person to person ...they make it clear that if you want amazing results you have to eat right and exercise and if you think about it most people would get amazing results by doing the same exact thing without the tea  BUT  I didn't exercise at all this past week and to be honest didn't eat that great, I mean, I ate 3 huge burrito bowls that were GREAT but that's not the great we are looking for  lol  plus I had Taco Bell breakfast 2 days in a row and still got results so that's a good thing.

When it comes to secondary effects and all that I have to say that I didn't experience many except for a few times that got nauseous  after drinking the metabolic boost tea but it went away pretty fast, before I ordered it I read about people getting cramps after the detox tea and going to much to the bathroom but thanks God I didn't experience any of that so that's a thumb up.

So here it is, the moment you'll are waiting for: THE RESULTS

Yup, 2.2 pounds in 7 days YAYYYY, I was so happy today when I saw the  scale ..when it comes to the belly I honestly don't see much of a difference, I read many reviews about it helping with the bloating but I didn't see any of that, maybe it's because what I got is not bloating at all and I just need to do more sit-ups  ;)

That's it for today, I have one more week to go so wait for the final update  and if you have any question feel free to comment or DM me on Instagram ...until next time 

MateFit Experience

Have you heard about those miracles teas that are helping people to lose weight and be energized in a complete natural way? Well I did and although I found a few brands out there one of them caught my eye, maybe because I've seen so many pictures on Instagram, I did a little research and said yeah why not, the company is called MateFit and even though they sell a few other products their most popular one are the teatox packs (14 or 28 days) ...mine arrived yesterday and I'm going to give you my honest opinion and updates of my experience with it.

This is what it looks like (I ordered the mini teatox which is the 14 days one) 

It comes with the detox tea  and the metabolic boost one, you are supposed to take the detox tea every other nigh and the metabolic tea twice a day.

I started my detox tea last night (7/9/2014) and today I already had the first metabolic tea, to be honest the metabolic one doesn't taste bad, I'm not a tea lover at all so for me they all taste bad but this one was decent but the one from last nigh omg I almost threw up, at least in my opinion it taste horrible, no wonder why they tell you to put lemon and honey for taste if you want, thanks god I don't have to drink it daily :) ...as for effect I haven't experience anything weird yet but I'll be updating you in a few days for sure.

And just to make this a real life experience here's a picture of where I am today including weight and belly photos just so we all can compare and see if it really works

I'm kinda dissapointed with myself ...last week I was at 147.8 pounds and today when I jumped on the scale I was like WTF? But then I remembered all the chocolate covered strawberries and that huge bacon cheeseburger and fries from five guys that i ate during the weekend and was like oh yeah never mind lol ...i'm still struggling with food, it is really hard for me to say no sometimes. when it comes to the tea routine I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to exercise every day but I'm going to try my best, i'll be drinking my 8 glasses of water for sure and hopefully my eating won't be so bad ;)

i'll be back in a week with an update of side effects (if any) and hopefully good results 

Their website is http://matefit.me in case you want to take a look at it ;)

What's hidden behind her cute little smile

I always find it so funny when we are at the grocery store or at the park and people mention how cute and quiet my almost 9 months old is ...I obviously agree on the cute part but about she being quiet? Lol if only they knew.

I remember all the times we got an ultrasound or that I had to get hooked to the monitors while pregnant, all the nurses and doctors always said the same thing: oh god what an active baby, you are going to have your hands full with this one. Little did I know how true that was going to be.

In fact Liana is a very, very, very active baby and the fact that she is doing things pretty fast doesn't help, at 4 months she was already sitting up without support and by 6 months she was crawling like a pro, since she became mobile I feel like I can't catch a break, she is always on the run, oh and let me tell you, she will be 9 months on June 28th and she is already trying to walk.
She is one of those babies that need her mom or dad to be around her all the time or she cries like somebody is killing her, the ergo (baby carrier) is one of my best friends, most of the time I have to put her on my back in order for me to get things done and to make things more "fun" she is now skipping naps and acting up, if I'm holding her she wants to be on the floor, if  she is on the floor she is crawling around my feet like a little dog and begging me to hold her, if we are playing she starts acting like she is sleepy but when I put her down for a nap all she wants to do is play and then after a long day she finally goes to sleep around 7-8pm and she is now "sleeping" through the night but I have to make some things clear: she hates her crib and to be honest I always say I'm going to start sleep training her but then I'm so exhausted that I just let her sleep on our bed and remember I said she is a very active baby? Well even when she is sleeping she is still moving and squirming all night long, we have a queen size bed and i sleep between my husband and her because I know how hard he works and I don't want her to wake him up, he needs his good sleep in order to work hard and provide for us...so every single night I find myself stuck like a piece of turkey breast in a sandwich, she wiggles, she moves, she sits, she lays down, she speaks, she cries, she laughs, she kicks, she throws punches and all of this while sleeping so as you can tell it has been so long since the last time I had a real good sleep.

And here is when I want to be honest just so other moms out there that are going through the same thing don't feel guilty: IT IS OK TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND. Sometimes I feel like I can't do it anymore, I've cried a few times and asked her "what do you want Liana? Why are you doing this to me?" ...I lost count of how many texts my husband has received from me asking if he can come home a little earlier, there have been times when I exchange chores with him (he is the one who do the dishes and cleans the kitchen after dinner) just so I get a few minutes away from Liana, yeah that's right, sometimes I prefer to do the dishes than to deal with her crankiness, oh and let's not forget, I'm one of those moms who puts the baby in a safe place and runs to the bathroom for 3 minutes just so I can breathe and remind myself that I can do this even when it seems like I can't and the saddest fact is that I've asked myself what the fuck I was thinking when I said I wanted another kid maybe twice.

But the truth is that I love my kids no matter what, the love I have for Liana and Valentina is so incredibly big that I can't put it into words and just because I struggle with them doesn't mean I'm a bad mom, in fact I'm a great mom because even when I struggle and even when I feel like I'm losing mind I find the strength and I manage to keep every thing under control, maybe my house is not as clean as it should and maybe the clothes in the dryer are getting wrinkly because they've been in there for like 4 days and maybe I'm in a bad mood sometimes, maybe I keep wishing to be able to take a long shower instead of a 2 minute one and maybe I'm always trying to find the time to get out of my sweat pants and looks good for my husband ...but my kids are in perfect conditions, they are well fed and clean (or at least looking decent) and that's what matters.

So for the moms out there going through similar situations please don't beat yourself up, you are doing great and the struggle is a big part of this beautiful thing called motherhood ...and don't forget that there is no perfect way to be a good mother because each situation is unique, each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities and certainly different children ...what really matters is that a mother loves her children deeply.

Until next time <3

I'm lucky to call him my husband

So here I am, smiling just because tomorrow is my first wedding anniversary and as I look back I can't help but feel thankful.

There was a time in my life when my road was shaky and I wasn't thinking much about my actions, it was a time when my life didn't have a purpose, a time when my priorities were all messed up. 

One day I received a friend request from a guy who lived in a different state (PA) on FB and that was the beginning of something special, he said hi and that's when all started, we texted a lot, he made me laugh all the time but that was about it, my mind was still busy on the wrong things. 

Unfortunately, because of my bad decisions I had to moved from NYC where I was currently living to CO and the weekend before of my departure he drove for 3 hours just so we could meet. The chemistry was there, the connection was instant and huge but unfortunately I had to leave and I was one of those who thought that a long distant relationship was the synonym of failure but life proved me wrong, instead of him disappearing like most of my "friends" did he made sure to always be in contact, he cheered me up when I was sad, he was always asking if I needed anything, he was always there for me, Skype became our best friend, we used to have video chats every single night before he went to bed, there were night when I cried after saying bye and wished I could hug him.

After the first 3 months of being in CO I went to NYC for the holidays and that's when our dating officially started, but I had to go back and saying good bye was so hard, but I made sure to travel once a month just to see him ...I have to honest, I was always afraid that he was going to get tired of the distance, there were bad days when he used to get frustrated because he missed me, because all the people he knew had a regular relationship, they had their significant others next to them while his girlfriend was in west bubble f**k but he then reminded me that he wanted to be with me and that he couldn't wait for the day to finally be together forever.

On May he asked me to moved in with him and I said yes, I didn't even think it twice, we just had to wait for my Valentina to finish school, on June 2nd I flew to Philadelphia with 5 huge bags and a 6 year old, I was scared but excited and that's when our life as a family began. Since day one he has treated my daughter like his own and their relationship is amazing, 6 months after being living together he got in one knee in front of huge audience and asked me to be his wife, a month after our engagement we found out we were expecting a baby and then got married. It was a courthouse wedding, very simple, only my daughter, our mothers and siblings were there but it was one of the most beautiful days of my life. The same day we moved to our own apartment (yeah that's my crazy but wonderful life) and life has been great.

He is a great husband and a great father to our 2 daughters, he makes me feel loved and special, he holds my hand in public, he helps a lot with the cleaning and the baby, he is a hard working man and has gifted me with the opportunity of being a stay at home mom ...he is an amazing man and I'm the luckiest woman for having him in my life, I always thank god for choosing him to be my husband and when I think about the girl I was before meeting him I feel like he saved me, he gave meaning to my days, he changed my life in the most amazing way, he treats me like a queen and because of him is that i now believe in true love, he showed me that not all men are the same, he gives me a life full of happiness and I fall deeper in love every day ...I know I'm not an easy person to deal with but he puts up with my craziness, he is my husband, my confidant, my best friend, my lover, the father of my daughters ...he is the love of my life 

**Happy first anniversary babe, the first of many more to come because just so you know you are stuck with me for life and eternity**

He was my father

Today is Father's Day so let me tell you about mine, a great man who made so many mistakes but still was an amazing person.

I was born in Colombia, the first child of a newlywed couple, he was the most hardworking person ever, he was a great husband and loved his wife very much and was the best father since day one, his two biggest flaws were ALCOHOL and the fact that he trusted people way too much.

His business started growing, he started selling books for a company and little by little he created a book distributing company of his own, my little brother was born and we were a happy family of 4 with a very stable present and a very good looking future.

But (yeah this great man had his buts) he had an alcohol problem, he used to drink since I can remember and that was the only thing that I'm sure brought problems between him and my mom but they as the great parent that they were never fought in front of us and if something needed to be discussed we were sent to grandma's house but children aren't stupid and even when they tried to act like nothing was happening I knew that in reality something was wrong and that it had to do with the fact that daddy got home at 5am very drunk.

But before I tell you more about him I have to make something clear ...he was an unusual drunk person, he wasn't violent like many alcoholics are, instead he was the most loving drunky of all, he used to tell my mom how much he loved her all the time but when he was intoxicated his love for her used to get a million times bigger and in the middle of the intoxication he used to worry about my mom being mad, many times I heard him saying "my love please don't be mad, I know I'm stupid but I love you, I love you very much". In my house all the bill were always paid, the fridge was always full and there was money for everything that needed to be taken care of so at least he was a responsible drunk.

It doesn't sound so bad right? Trust me, it doesn't matter how lovely or violet an alcoholic is, the problem is there and you as a member of the family always know it no matter how young you are, he tried AA many many times and it used to work for a few month but then he started drinking again, I remember one day he went out to celebrate that he had been clean of alcohol for a whole year and guess what? He drank for like 2 days straight -_-  ...but we were a happy family anyway and my mom used to be a happy person, or at least that's what she made us believe, when he wasn't drinking they were a beautiful couple and we had so much fun as a family, I still remember all the trips, the vacations, the birthday parties, the family reunions ...we were happy.

But remember I said he had a second flaw? Yeah he trusted people way too and 2 of his best friend did something wrong that involved my father's business and we lost almost everything, that's when he decided to come to the USA, he was looking for more opportunities, he needed a new job and things were bad in Colombia when it came to the economy, he moved here first just to get going and see how things were and some day in the neat future we were supposed to come to live as a family again.

We were apart but he used to call every single day, 2-3 times a day, he used to say how much he missed us and always ended the call with an I love you for my mom.
One day after his first year in this country we woke up but he never called, we were worried but my mom kept saying that he must be busy or that maybe he went out and was still sleeping, at around 1pm the phone rang and as soon as my mom answered I knew something was wrong, she immediately started crying, her husband, the father of her 2 children had an accident and was in a comma, she made all the arrangements, me and my brother stayed with my grandmother and my mom flew the next day, saying bye was one of the most horrible experience of my life, I remember I told her to please bring my dad back to us and she with eyes full tears said "yes my dear".

When she got here she discovered that he actually fell down the stairs of his apartment at 3am and hit his head, he was just getting home after being at a party, his neighbor from downstairs heard the loud noise that he made when he fell and went to see what happened, he was the one who called the ambulance, when my dad got to the hospital he had so so much alcohol in his system that the doctors couldn't do anything right away besides helping the alcohol levels to go down and while they were doing that the internal bleeding caused brain damage.

my mom staying at a friend house, she went to the hospital every single day (except for Xmas because the flew back to spend the holidays with us), she called us every night and when we asked how my dad was doing the answer was always the same: no progress at all, he is still sleeping. I don't know many details about all the surgeries or treatments because to be honest I just don't want to know but I know he had about 12-15 brain surgeries in total. The day that marked his 18th month in the stupid comma my mom called to say what we didn't want to believe, my father had died.

His body was repatriated to Colombia and I don't even want to talk about his funeral, it was the saddest moment of my entire life, I had to say good bye to my father's body at 15 years old... after that my mom decided that we were going to move to this country, she believed that here there were better opportunities for the 3 of us and we are all still here but that's another story.

So that's the story of that great man, the man who's only mistake was that horrible monster called alcohol, that explains my way of feeling about it, I sure can have some drinks and so but never to the point of losing my mind, but when I see somebody that I love getting drunk I get mad, for example I don't like when my husband says he is going to get some beers and when my brother says he was at a party and got wasted I get sad and frustrated, I don't want him to end in the same way as our dad.

I don't even know what's the point of this long story, I just want to remind my few readers that when you make bad decisions it affect more people that you can imagine, so please always think about what you do, always have in mind that your children, mom, spouse and family needs you, they are happy if you are happy but they suffer if you do.

**In loving memory of my wonderful father ...wherever you are dad just remember that we still love you and that we already forgave you, everybody make mistakes and you were the best dad no matter what**

weight loss update

so here i am, craving some taco bell breakfast and maybe 1or 2 chocolate chip cookies from wawa but at the same time reminding myself that i need to lose those extra 20 pounds ...this is hard, very hard at least for me.

This is my second week of healthy eating or i should say better eating because here and there I find myself eating a piece of pop-tart or a few spoons of ice cream but I'm still counting calories and eating lots of veggies,  my water intake is getting better as well, I went from hating water to at least 4-6 big glasses  a day, not the recommended amount yet I know but hey!! That's better than nothing :)..

A few minutes ago I finished my first week of T25 and I'm walking more , I'm sore, my body aches and I can barely lift my 8 months old, i do  my workout while she takes her morning nap and every single day I think about skipping it and just sleeping next to her but then I look at the lady in the mirror and that keeps me motivated .

Today I weighted myself and to my surprise the scale went down 4 pounds, it's not much but I'm proud of myself, I decided that from today on Fridays will be weight in and progress picture day so next week I'll be back with another update. 

Who doesn't love free goodies?

I few months ago I came across a very interesting site thanks to one of my Instagram friends, she was talking about getting free samples of things in the mail and i was like free stuff? Yeah I need to try that.

The process is very simple, you go to www.influenster.com and register yourself and then start taking surveys about a bunch of things (you choose which one you want to take), the more you take the better the chances of getting selected then you just wait and they will send you an email telling you what to do next in order to qualify for one of their boxes.

After you get your box in the mail you just have to go to their website and check in you box and complete the tasks, some of the tasks are about posting true reviews (they can be good or bad, that won't affect you) and picture on you social networks  and taking more surveys, like I said it's pretty easy.

A few days ago I got my second box and here is a picture of it 

It is the TLC VoxBox and the products that came in were:

-Neosporin Neo to go

-Ivory bar soap

-Avon Anew Reversalist Express Wrinkle Smother

-Puffs to go (tissues)

-Shell fuel rewards network card

-Coupon for a FREE Breyers Gelato 

My body is ready for a change

I used to be the skinny girl, the one that could eat anything at any time and would still be skinny ...but things changed after I had my second baby, even during my pregnancy I could tell that I was gaining more weight that I did when pregnant of Valentina but didn't pay much attention, then the baby was born and I started my T25 routine, i was getting good results but I don't know what happened, i stopped and I could make a list of excuses of the whys but let just leave it like that.

When it comes to losing weight my biggest struggle is FOOD, I love to eat and I love it even more if it is sweet, I know I need to change that, I'm 30 pounds heavier than my normal weight and that's just unacceptable. It's time for me to open my eyes, this is not healthy, this is not attractive.

I want to be able to feel good, I'm at the point where I don't even want to go out because nothing fits, I've cried a few time when watching the lady in the mirror, that doesn't look like me ...2 days ago I started eating better, I'm using a calorie counter app, my goal is 1500 calories per day and I'm not going to lie, this is hard, I want to be able to eat my cookies and ice cream, I miss eating a huge meal but I need to choose between that or feeling good.

On Monday I'll be starting another exercise routine again, I'm not sure if it's going to be T25 or P90X3 but I'll be sharing my progress, I know this is going to be a long journey, I know I won't lose 30 pounds in just a few days, I know I need to be persistent  and I will, I CAN DO THIS

My first blog!

If you ask me what's the reason behind this blog I'm afraid i won't have a specific answer. I'm sure you'll find a variety of things in here, I just want to be able to share my experiences whether it's about my kids, my fitness and healthy eating struggles or the ups and downs in my marriage ...a few days ago i was reading some blogs and i thought it was a fun way to speak my mind, to say the things that I'm afraid to say out loud or to complain about life ...who knows where this would take me and to be honest i don't even know if this would last.

So let me introduce myself and tell you some facts about me:
my name is Diana, I'm 25 years old.
I have 2 beautiful daughters named Valentina (8 years) and Liana (8 months) and I'm married to a great and wonderful man, his name is Luis.
We live somewhere in PA and I'm a stay at home mom/wife
English is my second language so I'm sorry in advance for any spelling errors, I'm from Colombia so i speak fluent spanish.

i think this is it for now ...I'm sure i'll be back soon